Why does it seem like the world has come to a standstill?
I thought it was you all along.
The reason for my tears, sad inklings, poems on heartbreak. But, today; today was different. The one thing I discovered today tastes like a bitter-sweet chocolate cream on my tongue. It might not be the gravity of it but rather the chips of guilt it’s drizzled with. Like the clichéd reason for break up, it was me. A game of my mind against myself, maybe. The toxicity of it was associated with you. My friends, I think I’m lucky that they are on my side but you were blamed for all of it.
I won’t apologize because my mind is still blaming you.
But you didn’t do anything other than be there for me, or try to be there, did you? Maybe I liked it, liked it all, the random calls, your extreme interest in my life, the temper tantrums, the little ignorance. But I still believed you were toxic and not me. In fact, didn’t I change you? From an identity who was a mess into an even messier self that is a conglomeration of my reveries. And yet, I left you. I tell them you were different and I don’t think I can find you in anyone. But I know, you did not really choose to be the guy you are now. The little fascination you had in my blurred fantasies is what you got drunk on. The poison, the toxicity, it’s all me. And yet, I don’t want to change. Do you?
